These days...

I miss school. I miss studying. I miss practicing the piano. I even miss lectures! Being away from the things I took for granted made me miss and appreciate them all the more. When performing the piano at recitals I would always get so nervous, but now, I want to share my talents. I’m excited to be on that stage again to make music for the people around me. Music is such a huge part of my life… always has been, and always will be. My sister and I started singing together when we were 3 and 6. Angela started singing for church at the age of 2 years old! We recorded a tape when we were 5 and 8. At school my major is music (piano performance) and I would really like to spread my performing from just piano to singing with Angela again. We have dreams of making music together and taking it on the road. When I get back to school we want to start playing (me on the keyboard, her on the guitar) and singing at little coffee houses. We’ll just have to see how things go with school and what not, but I would just love to make music with her again. I strongly believe that that is one of the talents that God gave us to share with the people around us, and I know that I didn’t appreciate singing with her when I had the opportunity… now that I am away from her, I miss it, and I miss her.

Not only have I realized my appreciation for school, but my appreciation and love for traveling. I have been bitten by the traveling bug. I’ve only been in Honduras for a little over 2 months, and I’m already aching to travel to different places! Since I’ve been here at the Hogar, I have met 5 awesome people from Germany. My friends, Ingrid and Marie, said that I could visit them whenever I wanted. I told them that maybe in the summer I would be able to visit them, but didn’t really think that it would be a possibility. I started talking to my parents about it, asking if they would be ok with me going… well, they were surprisingly supportive about it. I ended up finding a really cheap ticket to Germany, and I was able to purchase it about one week ago! I will be gone for 3 weeks, May 17-June 9. Marie will pick me up at an airport in Germany and then we will be off to see France, Switzerland, and Scotland! It has been my dream since I was a little kid to go to Scotland and visit all the castles and search for the Loc Ness. Ha. My sister and I would always talk about going to Scotland together, and I’m sad that she won’t be able to make the trip with me this time, but definitely next time.

I want to travel every summer to a different country for 2 weeks or 3 weeks at a time. I don’t just want to travel for myself, but I want to try to make a difference wherever I go, even if it’s just by being a living example… My friend Marie is not a Christian, and she doesn’t really believe in God. I have had the opportunity to talk to her about my beliefs and why I believe in the things that I do. It’s tested my knowledge and faith a lot. I have been trying to read through the whole Bible while I’m here in Honduras… I’m not very far, but it’s helping me in my spiritual growth. I want to know for myself why I believe the things I do, so that I can be a true witness to her. When I go to Germany I will have the option to either blend in, or to stand up for what I believe and be a witness.

God has been opening so many doors for me lately, and I couldn’t be happier to step through them! Dreams that I’ve had since I was little are coming true, and my life is so much more interesting. Sometimes I forget how cool God is, and think that if I want to be a Christian, I have to become boring, but that is SO NOT TRUE! God is SO awesome! I’m so excited to be working for Him and letting Him lead my life. Sure, things are not always easy, but without the hard days, I wouldn’t appreciate the good ones.

The kids here are so precious. They all need a therapist, and just someone to talk to… someone to help them through their problems and pasts. It’s so hard for me, because I am really struggling with Spanish, and so I don’t really get to be there for the kids that need someone to listen to them… but today, one of the girls wrote a letter to Hannah, my roommate, about some of the horrible things that have happened to her, and she knew that Hannah would translate it to me… in the letter the girl said, “I trust you (Hannah) and Laurel both, and that’s why I’m telling you my story…” Her letter made me so mad, angry, and sick to my stomach. She’s one of the tougher girls… and I knew exactly why she had that wall up… she was sold by her grandmother for 500 limpiras (about $35) for sex when she was just 12 years old. By her grandmother… as Hannah was reading the letter, I started to cry, as did Hannah, and her story is just one… I know that most of the girls here have been raped as well… it makes me so sick. And what can I do… I’m only going to be here 5 more months. I barely speak any Spanish, and what happens when they leave the Hogar… I pray that these kids can have a second chance at life through the Hogar. They all have the opportunity to go to college after they finish high school, and I pray that they take that opportunity. I was thinking the other day about how the kids love me one day, and completely ignore me another day… and with them, it’s normal. I was thinking how frustrating it is… right when I think I have a good relationship forming, it’s like they just leave, they forget all the progress that we made, and just go off and do their own thing… the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do the exact thing with God. One day I will feel so close to God and talk to Him throughout my day… but on other days, I’ll wake up, and just go about my day without really thinking about God all that much. I might be here for the kids, but I have been benefiting from spiritual growth through my time here as well. I came here knowing that I would grow, but it’s really crazy how much I already feel myself changing for the better… being away from home has really opened my eyes to a lot of things…

Please keep these kids in your prayers… they really need it. They all need so much attention and love…

I miss you all, but I’m where I need to be right now.

Much love.

-Me